There are plenty of ways to judge a footballer. Goals, assists, trophies, defensive actions - the list goes on.
But sometimes those same-old boring metrics simply aren't enough and we, as football fans, must start asking the questions that really matter.
Which Newcastle United player would you trust to organise a night-out? Who would you want looking after your dog? Who would you be calling to get you out of a spot of bother?
Well, I've decided to answer these pressing questions... maybe I've gone a little early on the international break content...
Who I'd trust to plan a night-out: Jacob Murphy
This is actually probably the perfect sort of article for Jacob Murphy right now, mainly because it stops us from having to talk about his on-pitch performances of late.
Anyway, if you're thinking about someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously, is a bit of a weirdo and would probably be excellent at keeping the vibes high on a night-out, I reckon Murph is the answer.
Waving Caleta-Car off the pitch against Southampton, the celebration against Spurs, putting the cone on his head during some handbags at St James' Park - I feel like it's a no-brainer really.
Who I'd call to get me out of trouble: Joelinton
In hindsight, this might be just a little contradictory as there's a high chance Joelinton might actually put you further in bother if you called him up for help, at least you'd feel safe though.
We are talking about a man here who even now seems to have referees scared of booking him, even after committing what feels like 30 fouls a half.
He has become a bit injury prone of late, so there may be a problem if he rocks up with a hamstring problem or something, but I still reckon he'd be there to back me if it all goes wrong.
Who I'd trust to cook me dinner: Will Osula
I think this one is pretty obvious actually, have you seen the man cooking on social media?
There's been at least three occasions where I've seen Osula making Nigerian food, namely Ogbono soup, all of which have included Joe Willock so he's clearly good if he has regular customers.
He's a bit chaotic so I'm not sure there'd be a whole lot else I'd trust him with, apart from maybe if I was looking for a Michael Jackson tribute act...
Who I'd trust to look after my dog: Lewis Hall
I can't really describe this one, Hall just looks like he'd be an exceptional dog sitter and I'd certainly not be worried to leave it with him.
He's calm under pressure, so if he loses the dog I trust he'll not panic. He's a kind-hearted soul, perfect for keeping a dog in-check and he definitely has all the best walking spots saved somewhere in his notes app.
Everyone in the squad seems to love him, I'm sure my dog would too.
Who I would trust with absolutely nothing: Anthony Elanga
We are speaking about a man who got upset on the pitch during the World Cup because he didn't realise that a draw was actually enough for Sweden to go through despite Graham Potter telling him before the game... do I need to say much more?
When you watch Elanga play football it's almost like every thought he has is replaced by another one before he's had a chance to process it - like he's too fast for his own good.
I've seen him pass the ball straight out of play, hit three crosses in a row into exactly the same part of the stand and look like more confused and unsure than any other player to ever grace the beautiful game.
I'm truly just not sure what I'd trust him with, other than winning a 100m race, perhaps.
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