GTA VI is just around the corner and it’s safe to say there’s a much more palpable buzz around its release than around the current situation of Newcastle United.
But, if you cast your mind back to 2013 and the release of GTA V, you’ll resurface fond memories of a Magpies side just coming off the back of a Europa League season under Alan Pardew.
With that being said, join us as we compare the players from the two teams, and perhaps prepare yourself for some mental health testing moments too…
GK - GTA V: Tim Krul GTA VI: Lukas Hornicek
Tim Krul spent seven years on Tyneside, five of those as a starter, whereas Hornicek only joined Newcastle United in the summer.
I actually think the Czech has a good chance of putting himself on a similar sort of footing in terms of how he’s remembered within the fanbase, especially if he keeps putting in the sort of performances he is right now.
RB - GTA V: Mathieu Debuchy GTA VI: Amar Dedic
Mathieu Debuchy was always solid during his time on Tyneside and he is probably hindered by the fact that his career didn’t really continue in the same vein after his move to Arsenal.
Him and Dedic both have that same fiery desire to play on the front foot and join in with attacks, although Dedic is probably a little bit more versatile in his creativity once in those forward areas.
CB - GTA V: Fabricio Coloccini GTA VI: Dan Burn
In terms of ability and what he did for the club I’m not sure Burn comes close to Coloccini, even including the header in the Carabao Cup final.
That being said, I do think a lot of the slander Burn is receiving on social media right now is wholly unjustified, it reminds me of the revisionism you sometimes see around Coloccini when he wanted to leave for Argentina during that period, even though he eventually stayed.
CB - GTA V: Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa GTA VI: Malick Thiaw
Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa was always a weird one. He felt like he had some real quality but never really showed it and never really felt like he fit in black and white. Still, he was part of the French Revolution period so deserves to be fondly remembered for that alone.
Malick Thiaw perhaps mirrors the Frenchman in the way that he clearly has a lot of quality, but we maybe haven’t seen the absolute best of him just yet.
LB - GTA V: Davide Santon GTA VI: Lewis Hall
I didn’t expect this to be the case but I’m actually finding that a lot of these players have quite a bit in common in terms of their strengths and ability.
That may sound strange when looking at these two, but both Santon and Hall harbour that sort of gliding ability to carry the ball and beat a man. Both have some defensive frailties due to coming from non-defensive backgrounds, but are pretty well-rounded full-backs all things considered.
RM/RW - GTA V: Hatem Ben Arfa GTA VI: Jacob Murphy
As far as comparisons go, this is like pitting Lionel Messi against Dean Lewington, both in terms of quality and the opinions of the fanbase (not that I have particularly strong opinions on Lewington, it must be said).
If only we had someone with even 1% of Ben Arfa’s talent in the squad today.
CM - GTA V: Yohan Cabaye GTA VI: Sean Steur
Another one with quite a few similarities. Cabaye and Steur are both technically gifted, intelligent central midfielders who can dictate play.
Cabaye definitely offered more goal threat than Steur does right now, but it does feel as though the Dutchman may have some of that in him if released a bit further forward.
CM - GTA V: Vurnon Anita GTA VI: Nico Gonzalez
Both of these two are deep lying midfielders, but Anita was much more of a ball retainer than Gonzalez who does take more risks in possession.
Anita was definitely more agile than Gonzalez, but the midfielder didn’t have anything like the ability to impact games as his Spanish counterpart does.
Not sure Gonzalez could hop in the booth like Anita does though…
LM/LW - GTA V: Moussa Sissoko GTA VI: Harvey Barnes
Moussa Sissoko, the original Alexander Isak. The Frenchman was good, but we were only allowed one good game in every five, the rest of the time he might as well have not been there.
While some people question Barnes’ impact across a full 90 minutes, no matter what you think suggesting Barnes is anywhere near as lazy as Sissoko was would be silly, he does so much more work off the ball.
CAM/ST - GTA V: Loic Remy GTA VI: Yoane Wissa
This is probably the section of the article that pains me most, beyond Ben Arfa and Murphy of course.
Choosing between the Loic Remy we had and the current version of Yoane Wissa would be an absolute no-brainer and it really does make you question our recruitment even more.
ST - GTA V: Papiss Cisse GTA VI: Will Osula
I mean, I love Will Osula more than possibly anybody else on the planet (yes, including his own mother), but I’d drive him down to Wythenshawe if it meant we could get back prime Papiss Cisse - what a player.
Add us as a preferred source on Google